Governance by Dogs
- realityskimming
- 22 hours ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 2 hours ago
by Melissa "Yi" Yuan-Innes
Things About Governance (2026) - 10
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“Absolute power corrupts absolutely,” my parents used to tell me. [1]
And of course, we’re all seeing the outcome play out on the world stage: greed and stupidity, and plain old fascism seem to be taking over the planet.
Question: How can we fight this?
Answer: Let’s turn it all over to someone you can’t corrupt. Someone for whom money and bribery is either meaningless or doesn’t progress beyond a nice snack.
My first choice is nature. What better role model than the sun freely giving us energy and the beauty and generosity of our good, green earth? “If trees gave us WiFi, we’d plant them everywhere,” someone, perhaps Tarun Sarathe, pointed out. “Instead, they only give us oxygen.” [2]
Don’t you want oxygen? A healthy planet for your kids and future generations? If you don’t have literal human children, you probably have something else you care about and want to endure, whether it’s a hummingbird or a story or song you’ve written.
But humans like faces and live interaction. Personally, I think we should worship fresh water and trees all day and all night, but that doesn’t translate so well. People don’t tend to vote for old growth redwoods, no matter how much they should.
So if we need a more ethical government 2.0, let’s go for the next best thing.
Let’s vote for dogs.
What are dogs famous for?
Being our best friends—for 15,000 years! Most politicians only look after themselves and maybe their cronies. But dogs famously help, yes, their families, but strangers too! [3] Don’t you want a government that strives to help you and lift you up instead of gobbling everything up for itself?
Smell. I read that a dog’s sense of smell is the equivalent of finding a chocolate bar in a city the size of Philadelphia [4]. That's precise. What smells good? Nature! Dogs will want to preserve the Earth, our all-important home playground. Sure, they’ll also want to roll in poo and bring home deer vertebrae. I’d rather deal with that than Donald Trump.
Living in the present. Dogs are here for a good time, not a long time. Humans have to meditate and learn this skill. And dogs will never hoard resources for themselves the way people do. You’ll notice that the United States limits its presidency to two four-year terms to curb power mongering. Fortunately and unfortunately, this will never be an issue with dogs, who don’t live as long as humans. And maybe that’s what makes them so wise, in their own way. They will never make you attend long meetings. They don’t know what filibustering means. They’ll teach you how to do what’s most important, and move on to the good stuff.
Concrete priorities. No more corruption. Dogs don’t know what money is. Sure, they like snacks, but that hurts no one except their own joints (osteoarthritis is more painful when you have to move a heavier load). They’ll dig a hole and store a bone for later. That’s it. No more billions of dollars evaporating, no more selling parks for logging and construction. Dogs aren’t fooled by AI. You can’t show them a fake photo or video and manipulate them and all their friends. They know what they smell and see. They can tell what’s bullshit, and they want no part of it. Since AI is also environmentally destructive (every single AI reply over 100 words is estimated to destroy 2 cups of potable water [5]), this is a double win.
Dogs make better role models. People like to buy whatever dress and drive whatever car they see is in fashion. Not such an issue with dogs! Sure, humans impose fancy grooming and collars and make illogical breeding choices, but with dogs in charge, maybe we can pay attention to what really matters and can’t be bought and sold in a capitalist economy: kindness, wagging tails, welcoming others, working together.
Fairness. Speaking of capitalism, aren’t you sick of being treated like a commodity? But who wants to live under a dictatorship, or forced communism, either? Dogs don’t know what any of that means! They do their own thing and share what they can and guard what's theirs, but mostly it's a live and let live system.
Health and mental health. Dogs will keep you company, but mostly, I see that they listen to their own instincts. They eat when they're hungry and stop when they're not (if they're not confined and bored). They run when they can. They roll in dirt. How much happier and healthier we'd be if we did the same!
The end of war and torture. I know dog fighting exists, thanks to human breeding and techniques, but dogs don't want this. Nuclear weapons, drone attacks, propaganda … NAH. Meaningless. If you gave the nuclear codes to dogs, they’d ignore them in favour of some belly rubs.
Are there flaws to this plan? Sure. Not everyone is a dog person. But I think most would realize that dogs are cuter and less damaging than the politicians currently running the show.
How Can We Shift Toward a Doggy Dog World?
(This is a malaprop of the expression of a “dog eats dog world,” which is much more grotesque. Who wants that? Let’s move toward a world with enough food for dogs!)
Think like a dog. Capitalism wants you to buy crap. Bosses want you to follow orders. But you, you’re actually free to do what you want! First of all, in your own mind, and secondly, in your actions. Read, vote, help each other. Ignore the brainwashing going on.
Lift other dogs up. The power of the pack! Help each other, family and friends and strangers alike.
Maybe this can help our writing too. Krista D. Ball’s Tranquility series raised $9000 on Kickstarter (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tranquility-series1/tranquility-military-fantasy-special-anniversary-hardcover/description) with a section on Dog Quality of Life Improvements that started with “At 10 backers, I will buy both of my dogs a fancy cookie and post photos of them eating it.”
I immediately followed Krista’s lead on my Pride & Provocateur Kickstarter campaign (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/melissayi/pride1). It feels a bit weird to flog your book, but if you’re championing dogs, well, that’s a different story, right?
And it was my highest-earning Kickstarter to date, so what can I say except “Thank you, dogs! I love you!”
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Melissa Yi writes tales to make you laugh and think, from the crime-fighting, ghost-talking Dr. Hope Sze (Killing Me Slothly) to the hockey romance of Home Ice and the queer pride of Pride & Provocateur (Jane Austen in Dildo, Newfoundland). Melissa has won the Derringer Award for mystery and the Prix Aurora Award for poetry. She lives in Eastern Ontario, Canada, with her family, including two happy rescue dogs.
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Footnotes
The full quote comes from Lord Acton: https://www.acton.org/research/lord-acton-quote-archive
The Tarun Sarathe attribution is here, but other sources have credited Ralph Smart and others: https://naturevscivilization.weebly.com/trees-quote-wifi-vs-oxygen.html
When do dogs help humans? https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0168159113001834
Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know, by Alexandra Horowitz
I’m having trouble finding The Writers’ Union of Canada article with the citation, but this article also talks about AI using up water: https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2025-ai-impacts-data-centers-water-data/?embedded-checkout=true
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